doublecrowss | Inbox for awash

[He's never really thought of it quite like that before, but what Akechi says strikes a chord. Taking on new pieces of personality, and leaving others behind... that is what he does, isn't it? In a way, at least.

Maybe that's why he still doesn't wholly feel like he knows himself. Because he isn't finished trying on new parts.]

I guess it is something like that. We learn and grow from our bonds, and so my Personas learn and grow in turn...

[They are all part of the sea of human consciousness, after all.]

I just wish it wasn't so... grisly.

[ Of course he never thought of it like that-- did he even think of it at all? From where Akechi is standing, sometimes it just seems like he just accepted his powers without much questioning whatsoever, just using them for his phantom thievery and his senseless talk of friends and teammates.

Then again, perhaps Akechi has an edge over him in that respect, and a whole extra two years to do enough questioning of his own. ]

From my understanding, everything in the Metaverse seems like an overly grotesque version of people's thoughts and feelings. Shadow selves, Personas, even the collective subconscious that is Mementos... In a way, I'm not surprised you essentially have to play Frankenstein with parts of your soul.

[ At the very least, Akechi felt particularly appalled by this method. Killing parts of his personality to take on more palatable masks, to become someone people could grow to like more easily... He'd been doing that his whole life. ]

It does make me wonder, though. You once told me having multiple Personas makes you feel like you don't know who you really are... But, once you have figured it out, does that mean you'll lose that power...?

[ Does that mean Akechi, too, doesn't know who he really is...? ]

[It's not like Akira doesn't think of them, these powers that were forced on him. But different people have different perspectives - he's been trying to show Akechi that.

But for now he ponders the question. If he learns who he is, will he lose his Personas? Perhaps they'll be replaced with one single Persona, like his friends. Or maybe he'll simply have a small group of them, for each of his personality traits.

Or maybe he'll lose them for good.]

...Maybe.

[However, despite this uncertainty... he seems at ease.]

But by then, maybe I won't need them anymore.

[Maybe by then, he'll have other ways of fighting for what's right.]

... you make it sound so simple.

[ He does, and Akechi doesn't get it. The idea of having even a single Persona - a shadow that is controlled by the ego and given physical shape - is enough to make him wonder, restless, but this power, the power both he and Joker share, the ability to take over dozens of Personas, switch between them, fuse and discard them as easily as pieces of clothing... Are they really in control of these multiple facets of theirs? Or is the shadows that really have power over them...?

He really doesn't get it. ]

Knowing that there might be more versions of "you" than perhaps you'll ever be aware of, being able to see them in such a solid way... If it were me, I think I would feel...

[ Empty. Like nothing he believes to know about himself will ever be concrete-- will ever be real. A fraud, no matter what he does. ]

Regardless-- [ A shake of his head. As far as Akira is supposed to know, that is merely a hypothetical. ] That isn't the case with you. You really are amazing...

[ Like Akechi will never be. Can never be. ]

[If it were him...

Akira wishes he had finished that sentence, but he thinks he can guess at it anyway. Perhaps it makes Akechi feel confused, incomplete... unsure of himself, and his place in the world.

Akira can certainly relate to those kinds of feelings.]

I... don't know if I'm amazing. [He feels a little heat rise to his face - not the right atmosphere for that sort of reaction, but it happens unbidden when Akechi says nice things about him, even if he's a bit downtrodden when he does.] I just focus on my goals and do what I feel like I have to. Same as anyone.

[Same as Akechi, though he wishes those goals were different...]

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