doublecrowss | Inbox for awash

Me? Never.

[But there's a little bit of a playfulness to it. He's still a bit sad he can't get Akechi to see his point of view on this, and maybe he'll always be a little bitter that Akechi agrees with his parents, but he came here for a nice date, and he'd rather move them to safer territory.]

You wanted me to talk, so I did.

Hmm. I did.

[ While that is true, and despite that hint of playfulness, he can tell Akira isn't entirely happy about this discussion, especially with Akechi's insistence on questioning that stupidly heroic streak of his. Really, it's not like he can't see it from Akira's perspective, but he can't help but side with the people who want him to not get involved and stay safe.

But, if Akira had minded his own business, if he hadn't meddled with the wrong person... They never would have met, would they? ]

And since this is what we agreed upon, I suppose it's my turn to do some of that talking. In fact, I might even entrust you with a little secret.

[ None of his terribly sordid secrets, no, but a small one. So he leans in closer so that only Akira can hear it, his lips brushing against skin as he whispers: ]

I might not approve of your reckless meddling, but I'm glad you did. It is what brought us together, after all.

[ Fate, as one might call it, acts in mysterious ways. ]

[And that makes Akira feel much peppier.

He smiles, turning his head so that those lips that graced his skin can touch a different part of him, lightly pressing his own lips against them, not shy but simply modest and slow.

He doesn't speak again until he pulls back.]

I think it's safe to say it changed my life for the better.

[Even if it was hard at first, even if hard things might still be coming... the bonds he's made make it worth it. This makes it worth it.]

I'm glad I met you.

[ Another smile graces Akechi's features, gentler this time, as he lets those words wash over him. Even though he had given the Phantom Thieves nothing but trouble as the Ace Detective back home, even though he had perished in his hands in Chroma, Akira was still glad to have met him... Akechi can't remember the last time someone had told him that and meant it.

(For a moment, he wonders, hopes that his feelings would remain the same if he knew the truth about Akechi, if he knew his real self...) ]

Being a labeled a criminal and living in an attic is what you call changing life for the better...?

[ He snuggles up closer, buries his head in Akira and huffs a small laugh into his chest. ]

You're a man of strange preferences, Akira Kurusu.

[ Strange enough to like and date even him.

(But maybe, probably not the real Goro Akechi.) ]

[Akira wraps his arms around him to pull him closer still, idly rubbing his thumb on Akechi's back.]

Okay... my living arrangements could use some work, maybe.

[At least Leblanc is... warm? Sometimes? Okay, it sucks, but he gets coffee and curry in the morning so that's something.]

At least I have a door here. [It's a step up!]

[ Akira's true power: having coffee and curry every day for breakfast for a year without developing an ulcer. ]

A door...! [ Said in theatrical amazement, though he breaks character partway through the act and laughs. ] Impressive. So you mean to tell me your life has gotten even better in this place?

[ He... isn't entirely serious about his question, but at the same time, he can't say he understands Akira entirely, either. ]

[He knows it isn't entirely serious, but Akira takes a moment to think about it anyway.]

I think... I can breathe here. Without all that weight on my shoulders.

[The Thieves, school, his job, trying to meet the expectations of his friends... it's not that he regrets any of it, or doesn't enjoy it for the most part, but coming here has let him take that load off for awhile and just... be.]

Does that make sense?

[ Oh. A serious answer, is it? Well, since Akira is willing to be open about it... ]

You can breathe here, huh...

[ He cuddles up closer, more comfortable, but otherwise falls silent for a minute. Having to juggle school and multiple jobs while still maintaining a busy social life would be taxing enough on any ordinary high schooler, but Akira had even more on his plate-- the weight of several lives hanging on his leadership, and a dangerous identity to keep secret at all costs... Yes, Akechi can definitely see where he's coming from.

Because Akechi, himself, is every bit the same. ]

I suppose I can relate to the feeling.

[ Although he dares say his burden is even heavier. ]

[Akira bets he can. Especially given his... extracurricular activities.]

Yeah. I guess it's tiring going to school and being a detective, and a Thief on top of that.

[Of course that's all it is, right? Akira lets him rest against him, sinking in a little closer, a little more cozy.

He hopes Akechi really means that. That it's good for him, being here, away from the influences of their world. From the hate that seeps in like poison.]

[ That's all it is... Hah, if only. ]

... Yes. I do have quite a lot to juggle, back home.

[ And as much as he doesn't want to think about it, doesn't want to remember the dreadful things he's forced himself to do for a man he loathes, but it's hard not to, when even his words evoke some questions. Could he even call Tokyo that, when this place has felt a lot closer to a home than his lonely days back in the place he just happened to have been born in? A place where he had nothing but fleeting fame and a plan for revenge that never really made him feel happy like he's been here? ]

Honestly, it's not as though this place didn't have its own brand of hurdles to overcome, but I would be lying if I said it didn't give me more free time to myself and the chance to try things I never thought I would. For one, I--

[ He snuggles in even closer, buries his face in Akira's neck. ]

I don't think we would have ever gotten to know each other or become this close, back home.

[ ... would it even be a home without Akira? ]

[If he only knew how closely their lives would become intertwined, up until Akechi's...

No. He doesn't want to think about that right now.]

...Probably not.

[No, they wouldn't have. Maybe if they had, he could have stopped some of the things Akechi did at the end. It wouldn't be enough to completely absolve him of guilt but maybe, maybe...

Maybe they could have had a happier ending.]

But I think, either way... you would have been important to me.

[He knows he was. Is. Will always be.]

Even if we stole Niijima-san's treasure, and you walked out of my life forever... I wouldn't forget you.

[ Akechi is huffing a laugh before he can even try to stop it, and it's hardly out of any real amusement. Important to him? Hah. ]

There's no need for you to lie to me.

[ It comes out a lot more bitter than he intended, too. ]

Honestly, before we came here, we were closer to acquaintances than we were to friends, let alone anything more. I'm not sure how important that would be.

[ Even without taking Akechi's extracurricular activities into account, even as the ever pleasant teenage detective, they never spent much time together, save for the occasional exchange on the way to school or a brief encounter in Leblanc-- and it wasn't for a lack of trying on Akechi's side, either. As far as he can tell, Akira never had any real interest in him before their arrival in Chroma, and even now he still wonders if they only got this close for a lack of better, familiar options to hang out with.

Perhaps he was only fooling himself into believing Fate ever had anything to do with it. ]

If you were to never forget me, then I would probably only be remembered as the person who got in your way as a Phantom Thief, haha...

[Akira knows they didn't hang out that much, and he blames himself in large part for that. It had just been so hard to believe at first that such a well-known, well-liked mini-celebrity would have any interest in a scrawny delinquent who fanboys for the Phantom Thieves, even as the voice rang in his head, informing him of their bond. And there'd always been that nudge at the back of his mind that something wasn't right, confirmed when Akechi came to them and they remembered his remark about the pancakes.

And then everything had moved so fast.

They really do have time to breathe here.]

You remember what I said about bonds, don't you? About the arcana, and how it makes me stronger.

[He's sure Akechi remembers, even if it was a long time ago that they last talked about it. It was surely a revelation then.]

The bonds that tie into my personas... they're stronger than anything, and can't be broken. And you and I have one, even as small as our relationship was then. So it has to mean something, right?

How could I forget?

[ Yeah, of course he remembers. The goddamn power of bonds that gave Akira such an edge over his enemies and made him so strong, the same power that no one ever told Akechi about... The power he probably could never master, anyway. ]

Whether that had any meaning or not, I wouldn't know. That isn't an ability that we share.

[ Is it even a lie, really? Wildcard or not, Akechi could never form meaningful bonds from which he could harness any strength. Not with the way he is.

(He did hear the voice back then, though, just once, and a few times more ever since coming to place, but...) ]

Regardless, I do know that what we have now is meaningful. Whether it's strong because of the arcana or something else, it's irrelevant to me.

[ Yes, just a lot of talk of no consequence to him. He would never care about this arcana deal. ]

It's just... strong. And that's all that matters to me.

[ Not with the way he... was? ]

[It's... surprising, in a way, to hear Akechi talk like this. After his insistence in that forever ago timeline that he could never have friends, would never give himself over to this sort of weakness, to hear him talk now about such strong feelings between them...

It warms Akira. It gives him hope that none of this is in vain, that it's all going to lead somewhere. Somewhere better.

And it gives him butterflies, too. To know someone feels that strongly for him, and that he feels the same... who doesn't want that?

He can't help but grin, a little bigger and wider and more happy than before.]

Strong, huh...?

[And suddenly he leans in, pressing a big, loud kiss to Akechi's temple.]

I agree.

[ The kiss startles him just a little, and he can't help but giggle at the sound it makes, light and carefree and just... happy.

... huh. ]

I'm glad you do.

[ He's more than glad or even content, though. He really is... happy, isn't he? This is what happiness feels like, right? ]

Although if I get to choose, I hope this is about more than just an arcana talking to you.

[ He wouldn't really mind it if it was, though. The arcana doesn't make it any less meaningful or real; it might be quite the contrary.

(That is what he's been hearing, too... isn't it?) ]

[His giggles like that are so cute, so nice. He likes hearing them. Akira wonders if those kinds of giggles would have come more naturally from him, if he'd had a normal life...]

I think so. The Arcana isn't everything.

[But it does mean a lot, and it's certainly not a bad thing. At least, it means that his tie between himself and another person will always be strong, even if their relationship is... strained.]

[ Akira, don't be silly, the arcana is the means by which all is revealed.

Regardless, Akechi falls silent for a minute, his thoughts wandering off. The last time they talked about this, he had been understandably caught off guard-- and in all honesty, he still hates the idea that Akira has a better handle on his powers even though he has had them for much longer, but... He wants to know. Needs to know. And maybe it will be easier to do like this.

Maybe the strong, positive feelings he has for Akira will be enough to suppress his bitter, bitter jealousy. ]

You... never really told me much about it, though. About the arcana, and how it relates to your unique abilities as a Persona user.

[ Heh. Unique. Right. ]

Would you mind telling me now?

[Akira is a little surprised he's showing interest now. At the time, he seemed almost... annoyed, to hear about it, but now he's actually interested.

Akira wonders if he hears the voice too, one strange yet familiar, telling him when he's formed a special bond with another. Of course, he can't ask him that. But he can give him this information.]

Sure. I can tell you what I know.

[Though where to start? His own understanding is limited to his experiences and the cryptic teachings of Igor.]

I guess the most important thing to know is, every Persona has an Arcana too. Arsene is of the Fool Arcana. Robin Hood is Justice.

Edited 2019-01-22 03:52 (UTC)

[ Yes, he already knows about that, though it's not like he can exactly tell Akira about it; several different Arcana for several different Persona, and all had always been so weak to him. All so useless compared to his first.

But there had been one exception. ]

... Justice.

[ With Robin Hood, Justice had been the one Arcana that had seemed to give him an extra boost of power, and the hero-like Persona that had only meant to be a disguise for his real self turned out to be much stronger than he expected-- not quite like Loki, of course, but still rather impressive.

It hadn't always been like that, though; time and time again, he had performed fusions, resulting in equally weak Justice arcana Persona. And the only thing that had changed since then was-- ]

Because that voice tells you I'm Justice, correct...?

[ Wasn't that what he also heard when he met Akira...? ]

Right. Whenever I first form a bond with someone, the voice tells me what Arcana they are to me. And it told me you are Justice.

[He smiles.] Makes sense, right? You were trying to end my reign of terror, after all.

[All meant in jest, of course! Even if Akechi still means for him to quit being a Phantom Thief after this is all over... (He can't help but wonder if that is really the case.)]

I'm able to... create new Personas, using the ones I've taken on. And if the resulting Persona is of a certain Arcana that I have a strong bond with, they gain a big power boost. It allows me to make even stronger Personas than I had before.

Edited 2019-01-23 04:39 (UTC)

[ ... ah. So his hunch was right, after all. ]

... I see. So you draw strength from bonds in a quite literal sense. It's no wonder both you and Arisato-kun seem to hold them in such high regard.

[ That same grossly romanticized view of interpersonal relationships, and notions that have always eluded him like teamwork, and friendship, and camaraderie... It makes sense for them to find them so precious. It's what gives them power, after all.

It's also no wonder Akechi could never find out about that on his own. He never had any strong connections to anyone. ]

How do you do it? Create new Personas, I mean?

[ He wonders if the process is just as gruesome as it is to him. ]

Well, it's also just nice to have friends.

[He doesn't want Akechi to think the power is the only reason he treasures these bonds, after all. There're so much more important than their use in fighting shadows. They're what give him a reason to wake up in the morning; a reason to live.]

But... ah. [He laughs a little.] It's a little weird, but... Basically, I have to execute them. And it's like their essences fuse together to make a new Persona.

[He wonders if Akechi can do the same.]

[ Akechi doesn't pay much attention to the !nice to have friends" comment, partially because he still has a hard time believing it, but mostly because he's more interested in the rest of Akira's explanation. ]

Fusion, huh...

[ So it is the same as him, after all. That much isn't too surprising, though there's a lot more he wants to ask-- if that long-nosed man is also in the room being maddeningly unhelpful, and whether he can perform those fusions by himself or has to employ the help of a pair of twins...

But, he can't ask that, not without revealing more than he should. So he settles for something else: ]

So you execute and fusion them together into a new Persona-- stronger, but retaining some of their original features, I imagine? It doesn't sound very different from what humans do in life; as they grow and meet new people, they borrow new personality traits from each other, while leaving others behind...

[ Or at least, that's how he consciously knows it works for most people, if not not so much for himself. It makes him wonder if this, too, is why he never saw much of a point in fusing Personas-- why the results were always so weak. ]

[He's never really thought of it quite like that before, but what Akechi says strikes a chord. Taking on new pieces of personality, and leaving others behind... that is what he does, isn't it? In a way, at least.

Maybe that's why he still doesn't wholly feel like he knows himself. Because he isn't finished trying on new parts.]

I guess it is something like that. We learn and grow from our bonds, and so my Personas learn and grow in turn...

[They are all part of the sea of human consciousness, after all.]

I just wish it wasn't so... grisly.

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