doublecrowss | Inbox for awash

[ Akechi is almost tempted to ask if that's all Akira really came for, but he chooses to remain silent instead-- though perhaps his smile speaks for him instead. ]

Well. I won't keep you waiting, then.

[ And he, too, proceeds to settling in more comfortably, pressing himself closer to Akira-- because it's a quest requirement, because the lack of space makes it necessary, but, more important, because he wants to. Whether Akira is a strength, a weakness, or even both, it doesn't really matter right now; the feeling is light on his chest, something he knowingly chooses to indulge on. ]

Is this comfortable?

Yeah.

[It's a contented word - Akira has so few of them, but they carry meaning all on their own. He lays his head over on Akechi's shoulder to settle in better, feeling his warmth on the side of his face.]

How about you? Enjoying yourself?

With you? Always.

[ And the best part? He doesn't have to flirt for the sake of flirting; he actually means every word he says. ]

I'm afraid I can't offer much in the way of entertainment, though. You did give me such short notice...

[ There aren't even stars to look at it, this time. There's only him. ]

[He doesn't mind that. Looking at Akechi is his new favorite pastime.]

That's alright. We can just talk.

[Or they could even just lay here. Take a nap, maybe. He honestly doesn't care either way.]

[ Akechi can't help but chuckle at that suggestion. ]

Hearing you say that could almost fool me into thinking you're the talkative type.

[ And Akira is... just about the opposite of that, really. Still, it's all meant in good jest; however little he said, it was enough to make Akechi like him, and he hopes that nuzzling his terribly frizzy hair is enough to reinforce his point. ]

That's a shame, you know. I rather like the sound of your voice.

[He just likes to do the listening, that's all! But Akira doesn't mind at all the nuzzling in his hair, and welcomes it happily by tilting his head more into the nuzzles.]

You do, huh?

[It's a pretty ordinary voice, though, isn't it? Well, maybe Akechi is a little biased.]

Yours isn't bad either. So I like listening.

[ This is good practice for when Akechi gets his own pet, it would seem. It's always a good sign when cats lean into your touch, isn't it? ]

So you get to enjoy mine, yet don't reciprocate the favor? That's mightily selfish of you, do you realize?

[ It's a lighthearted jab, but it does have a hint of truth to it. He wouldn't complain if Akira did just that little bit more talking every now and then... ]

Selfish, huh...?

[He doesn't really think of it like that - isn't it selfish to talk about yourself too much, and not let others have the floor? But Akechi does often tell him he does that too much...]

Then how about we trade off evenly, this time?

[ At that suggestion, Akechi pulls away, just enough to give Akira a questioning look, curious. ]

I'm not sure you can talk much more than your usual-- and it would take quite a lot to catch up to me, haha...

[ Another jab, but just as playful as the last, and he resumes his ministrations by burying his face in Akira's frizzy mane again. ]

It's all right, though. As much as I would like for you to be a little more expressive sometimes, I feel like I can get a good grasp on your thoughts and expand on them with my own words. I believe we complement each other this way, wouldn't you agree?

[That's a bit rude! He can talk, he just chooses not to...!

But he isn't actually offended, and he gives a little laugh at that.]

Yeah, I do.

[And that's all Akechi gets. If he's such a master of expanding on Akira's words, he shouldn't need more, right?]

[ Piece of shit! Akechi can translate his few words well enough, but he's not a miracle worker-- give him something more to work with! ]

And that makes it sound like you weren't very serious about evenly trading off,to begin with.

[ But, he's not particularly offended or even upset, either-- although maybe he'll break from his ever polite and nice facade to do the unthinkable and, gasp, flick Akira's arm in playful reprimand. Wow! ]

[Wow, indeed! Akira gives an exaggerated huff, but he can't stop smiling.]

Fine, then. Why don't you ask me a question, if you want to know something about me?

[Then he can talk about that, and Akechi can hear the sound of his voice.]

A question, hmm? That's almost like giving me too much power...

[ A dangerous thought in any other occasion, really, but not right now, not when they've re-established a lighter mood, comfortable despite Akechi's alarming request from before. And he wants to keep it that way. ]

In that case, tell me about your life back in your hometown. What were your family and friends like?

[ Probably not that great, if they're the kind of parents who get rid of a problem child like he's a disposable asset, but he'd still like to hear some more information before passing judgement. ]

[Ah. That is certainly a question...]

...It was alright, I guess. Pretty normal. My parents... they're not strict, but they're distant. I can't remember the last time we talked about something that wasn't homework or my life plans.

[And maybe he never really satisfied them with either.]

They were embarrassed by me, after my arrest. Barely talked to me after my expulsion. When Shujin accepted me, and they knew they'd have to send me to Tokyo... for them, I think it was a relief.

[Maybe he should have started with the less gloomy angle...]

[ At the mention of "relief", Akechi finds himself unconsciously holding on to Akira a little tighter, protective, but mostly angry. ]

... they took a stranger's word for truth instead of their own child's. That's--

[ He's quick to cut himself off, though, at least this time, before the mask slipped any further, before it looks more personal than he intends it to come off as.

(It is, though, on so many levels. Personal, because Akechi can relate to being oppressed by rotten adults, because Akira is someone he actually cares about, and... because of the one particularly rotten adult who made life difficult for the both of them.) ]

Were they public figures of some sort around town? High profile careers with a reputation to care for, perhaps?

[He feels Akechi tighten his grip, and reaches up to rub at his hand, trying to be calming. He didn't mean to make Akechi this upset, although he supposes it was inevitable, with this topic.]

Mm... my dad's kind of high up in his company, but they aren't really public figures. But it's a small town. People talk.

[He's over it now, or at least as much as he can be. His parents made their decisions. Going forward, Akira's focus is making sure that no kid ends up in the same position, with parents who make the same choices.]

But... it's not so much that they didn't believe me. Just that they don't think I should have gotten involved in the first place.

[What was it Sojiro said? Leave adult matters to adults?

In Akira's opinion, that's bullshit. And that's how he ended up where he is.]

[ The rubbing does help a little, and Akechi looses his grip on him, though he doesn't let go completely, either. ]

While I can't say I disagree with them on that matter, I still think sending you off on your own to a stranger's home was too drastic of a measure...

[ And though this explanation sits better with him, it's still hard not to relate too closely, to the idea of being passed around the minute he became a burden, to become someone else's problem and nothing more. Parents, or even extended family... don't they realize children aren't things to be readily discarded? ]

... ah, I'm sorry. It isn't my place to question their decisions.

[ What does he know about having parents, anyway? ]

What about your friends, though? [ A quick change of topic, hoping to lessen the gravity of their talk, drive it back to a lighter path. ] Surely you must have left quite a few behind?

[Next to him, Akira has gone a little stiff. Though he heard Akechi's question about his friends, his mind is on something he said a little earlier.

He gives a shrug to the topic of friends. It's not that interesting, anyway.]

I guess. But why don't you disagree?

[He isn't surprised, actually, that the real Akechi would disagree; he'd probably rather see Akira rot in a hole than do something heroic. But he wasn't really expecting Akechi to agree with his parents about this outright, either. Maybe it's a small thing to Akechi, but to him...

Was your previous decision a mistake, then?

To him, this is a moment that defines him.]

You think I shouldn't have gotten involved?

[ Akechi does feel him stiffen under his touch, and it strikes him as odd, especially when he's trying so hard to shift the topic from anything that could make him upset, like the memories of his parents getting rid of him like a mere object.

... but then Akira barely answers his following question, and Akechi realizes his mistake. Ah. ]

... We've had this conversation before, haven't we? I admire your willingness to help even a stranger, but heroism alone without any planning or power to rely on is a reckless move. What would you have done if, instead of an influential man, you had crossed someone who wasn't afraid to resort to violence?

[ And that's not even taking into account that it was Shido, of all people, that he had to mess with, and he, somehow, was both, powerful and unscrupulous. It was fortunate that Akira was just a nobody teenager, or else his life might have been in danger.)

(Except then Akira became Joker, and an even bigger target for Shido's wrath. The kind that Akechi was left to deal with.) ]

It's not that I think your choice to help was wrong in itself. But I can't ignore it's reason to be concerned, as I imagine your parents must have been.

[ As Akechi, himself, has come to be, the more he's learned to care about Akira. ]

[Akira knows they've had conversations like this. But being more careful about running into a monster's nest, or wandering off in the woods, or facing a difficult challenge alone... those all feel different. The choice that was in front of him that night wasn't one of deciding whether or not to rush into danger. It was about deciding whether to keep his head down, and walk right past something happening, and pretend he never saw it.

He can't. He can't do something like that.]

...If it had been me. Would you have wanted anyone who came across me to look down, and pretend they didn't see?

[Because so many people would. So many people do. The parents that told their children to endure Kamoshida's abuse. The officials who ignored the suffering of young people at the hands of Kaneshiro. All of the people who now know Shido's abuses, and are still okay with him being Prime Minister.

Something about the thought grabs at the back of Akira's mind, like the solution to a riddle that he just can't quite get to. Apathy. The apathy of bystanders.

He creases his eyebrows, eyes getting far away.]

[ While he knows Akira means it in a more general context, knowing what he knows now, it's impossible for Akechi to not have a fleeting image of Shido trying to harm him, trying to do damage a lot more direct than he's already caused. Trying against his life, for daring to get in the way of his plans.

He clenches a fist, realizing that vision isn't just in the realm of hypotheticals. ]

... If it had been you, then I would rather have helped you, myself.

[ He could do it. He can still do it, whenever they go back. But what is it going to cost him? What is it going to cost them? ]

But, to answer your question-- [ Yes, he realizes this isn't really what Akira wants to know, so he shifts his line of thinking back to the present, pushing that latent anger to the back of his head. ] --Yes, of course I would want someone to help. But I also realize how selfish that is, to ask for someone completely unrelated to get involved, and prioritize your safety over theirs. As much as I wouldn't like to see someone else be harmed, isn't it natural to wish more strongly for the well-being of those we're personally invested in?

[ Sure, he may not be very good at grasping the intricacies of human relationships, but this much seems obvious to him, both from common sense perspective, and from his own experience; though his connections are still few, what he's witnessed in this town every time they've been under siege is that people rushed to save their loved ones first. That's just the way humans are-- selfish.

Society is selfish. This, too, is a fact he's personally acquainted with. ]

Isn't everyone like this? Minding their own comfort first, and wishing that someone else would take on the risk?

[He smiles a little at Akechi's resolute answer. Help him himself, huh? Akira can't say he disagrees with that.

But it's the rest of the answer that has him pondering. It's not that he thinks it's wrong to care about friends and family first; it's only natural to do so. But that can't be where it ends, right?

He thinks of how Ryuji tried to step in to save him, and how that led to his Persona awakening. If Ryuji hadn't done that, they couldn't be friends now, because one or both of them would be dead.]

I'm not saying don't prioritize your loved ones. There's nothing wrong with that.

[He doesn't want to give the wrong idea, especially to someone like Akechi, who has had so few people to care about in his life.]

But if everyone wants someone else to take the risk... eventually, no one will. It leaves... holes. And that's where people like Kaneshiro and Madarame and the other guys we've taken down slip in.

[Surely Akechi knows something about that too, growing up in the foster system. When children are vulnerable, it's so easy for bad people to gain control of them...]

I think... if everyone took small risks for others, the world would be better off.

[ Oh, he definitely does; he's intimately acquainted with that system, and how the vulnerable get little to no help at all. And that personal knowledge is exactly what gives him the authority to say: ]

In an ideal utopia, perhaps. But the real world is hardly like that.

[ He's witnessed it with his own eyes, how people in a position of power don't give a damn about those below, how they actively feast upon the weak, how even the most well-meaning soul would succumb under the sheer weight of fighting that battle alone, eventually leaving Akechi and so many others like him to fend for themselves. ]

Because the world is ultimately selfish, there are too many who do nothing, and very few who do too much-- a handful of heroes bearing the weight of the world upon their shoulders. And they, too, will eventually exhaust themselves for the sake of limited success, unless they can change the system itself.

[ Which, he realizes, is exactly what the Phantom Thieves are naively trying to do, but-- ]

You've seen it for yourself, haven't you? One mistake and suddenly the entire public opinion turned against you and your group. Save for the ones who directly benefited from the change of hearts, do you think the Phantom Thieves have made much of a lasting impression on society at large?

[Akira looks away, thinking of the election, of Shido confessing to his crimes but still winning. He thinks of how it really didn't seem to matter at all.

And he realizes...]

...Maybe not.

[Did they really fail, in the end? Was their hard work in vain? Did it mean anything?]

I don't know if we made any lasting impact. Maybe no one will even remember us in the future, or even in a year. But... I still think we made the world better.

[Even if was small. Even if it will only directly impact a handful of people.

That's still a handful of people whose lives are better, through their actions. And it's not nothing. It isn't.]

In other words, though you cannot change the world at large, as long as you can change a single person's world, your efforts will be worth it. Like I said, it's an admirable notion.

[ Admirable, and stupid, worthy of a dumb hero. Honestly, it makes Akechi want to scoff at that idea, risking so much for people who otherwise might not have given him the time of the day. It makes him angry, too-- angry that this idiot might have (and still could) ended up dead because of his damn martyr complex, angry that he's reckless, and has so little regard for his own safety, as long as he gets to help people who mean nothing to him.

Angry that there was never anyone like that for him. ]

Just remember that anything that happens to you might have an impact on someone else, too. After all, to them, you might be their world, or a significant part of it.

[ Angry that Akira would rather save anyone else, than be that change in Akechi's world. ]

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